My entire life I’ve been a chameleon, finding, blending, and mimicking the mannerisms and speech patterns of any particular group to fit in. Always looking for my place but never quite fitting in. I’ve had plenty of friends in my adult life, but always felt as though I was on the outside. As if I had to do something more, keep up some kind of act to stay relevant and liked. And while I’ve had real friends that loved the real me and didn’t expect me to keep up any kind of act, I have always felt that need. The need to entertain, to make them laugh, to make myself someone they wanted to keep around. Rarely was I able to let my guard down, and when I found someone I was comfortable enough to be myself, they eventually left. So, for years I have created versions of myself that would fit into whatever group I was with.
In the last year and a half a lot has changed. I finally feel accepted and comfortable being 100% my “real” self. I’m changing, I’m happy, and I’m finally finding out who I am. I have found people that love me people that see my potential and most importantly, have enabled me to see it for myself. I am finally ready to see everything I am and my impact on others. I look around my group of friends, and I see sincere love and care for one another. It is a community we’ve built and it is always welcoming. I don’t know that we are unique, but it feels special. And is not something I’ve seen before. In the last year, this group of friends has taken on many strays, myself included, and it is fascinating to me how well integrated we all are. It feels as though we’ve known each other for years.
I’m not sure what has caused this camaraderie, this bond. We are all very different people with one thing in common, motorcycles. I think maybe we attract each other, our spirits. There have been many that haven’t stuck around so maybe its just that we’re the ones that enjoy the atmosphere that enveloped us. In any event, I have found family with people that I have only known for a short time. What make this unusual for me is that they feel the same way. These people, these friends that have known each other for years, have opened up and found a place for me. I am part of their family, as if I’ve been there all along.